One Eighty Five

I’ll always remember the ride we took
Deep inside the forest nook,
Where the winds blew cold
And the tree branches shook,
And I remember the feeling of my eyes being hooked

Hooked onto the wonder that I’m alive
Alive to see an adventure beyond you and I,
Makes me feel that I’m not just here to survive
It’s that 2am empty road I wanna drive,
Gassing the engine up at maybe one eighty-five.

One eighty-five past the cold that gives the chill  

One eighty-five past that endless hill,
Past the meadows and mountains and the broken windmill
One eighty-five one last time for my heart, just to feel the thrill.

So, take me back to where the skies are blue
Where it felt like all my dreams will come true,
While you stare at it and call it new
But all I’ll see would be a dark sapphire hue.

Take me back to where the streets run full
Where the people and the city have a certain pull,
Where the aura feels like it’s the final call
The final call where bad luck won’t befall. 

Take My Hand, I’m Going to See This Through

You look broken, almost shattered really.The pain and burden weighing you downYou say you’ve felt like this your whole lifeHeavy is the head that wears the crown.

It comes and goes in bouts
you’re losing faith with each passing day
You say you’ve felt empty your whole life
That you wouldn’t recognize healthy if it came your way.

So, you start to pick the pieces up
The tears seem to blur your vision
You shut your eyes and squeeze them hard
Hoping it’ll stop the hurt and create a diversion.

It’s tough being vocal
It’s tough to put on a brave face
You say you’ve felt like this your whole life
The eyes tell me it’s peace you chase.

You bore the brunt of brutal actions
You were at the receiving end of harsh words said with no regret,
Yet your heart was open and understanding
You just don’t get it, do you?
You function from beyond a point of where the world has been set.

So, I ask you to breathe,
To take my hand and leave behind what worries you
It isn’t easy,
because the way you push back doesn’t feel new
I stand my ground and pull you in
To make you realize that we’re going to see this through

You looked broken, almost shattered really
The day that I met you
And you began to pick the pieces up again
But this time, we’re together, hand in hand
Staring at the view
Gazing, at a better you.

Did You See Me?

I longed for your feathered touch the day we crossed paths
But I couldn’t be unabashedly truthful of all the ways I wanted it in
So I walked the other way
Your eyes and lips leaving behind an itching taste in my mouth
Did you see me or did I see you?

Subtle smirks turned into full blown laughs
Subtle touches to hugs I’ve come to love
I think I liked the way you told me about the things that gave you the jitters
But I love the way you want to be held but wouldn’t show
Would ever quit acting that you’re tough?
I think you saw me too the way I see you.

We got too comfortable and like everything
all good things must come to an end
It was through a painful journey I saw you become a fiend.
So, I asked you to love me one more time
Just the way you did that one summer night
The stars were bright but your hold on me felt a little too tight.
Did you ever really see me or did I see you?

If I look closely your reminiscents still exist within me
I dislike it but I could never hate it
But I tend not to dwell because of the light I found within myself
It was my mind and heart that got set
On this image of your nasty aura but pretty little face
But I never wish that we hadn’t met.

I’d do it all again in a heartbeat
And for you a thousand times over.
But I wish to do a million things
A million things in which you don’t reflect.
I guess it was just me who saw you
and that plays in my head like a never ending cassette.   

Another Love Like You

I hate the feeling of the sun rays hitting my face on a Sunday morning
I hate the smell of my new books waiting to be read once in a while
I hate the sound of the birds on my way to work 
I hate the first taste I take of coffee, it’s become vile
I hate the things I used to love because I look for a glimpse of you in everything I do
It’s just so obvious that I’m never going to experience another love like you

I didn’t particularly dislike the smile that came my way today
I didn’t snap at anyone either
I didn’t flinch when the water hit my toes at the beach
And I think I found some beauty in the way fall leaves around me wither
I felt a little better
A bit happier
Your face seems to be vanishing from the things I usually do
You know what, I just might be open to experiencing another love like you

I sang my first karaoke song today without anyone having to ask me twice
I cried my first real tear while reading a book I’ve been wanting to for a while
I smiled my most genuine smile when I saw an old couple cosied up on the park bench
I might’ve have also danced to a song whilst shopping for goods in the third aisle
The current me feels lighter, stronger even and more vulnerable now
There’s more space in her heart to feel things again
But she doesn’t quite just yet know how

I’m getting back to the all things I used to love and it strangely feels new
Because believe it or not I’m experiencing another love like you
But it’s nothing like you.

Run Through The Forest

There’s this place I go
that only I probably know
Where I can let my mind lose
because it’s what I call my chosen home.

The walk through the forest was my get away from everything bad in life
To move away from worries and all things rife.
It wasn’t long before I felt a shadow burdening me more than others
That I was free falling and losing sight of my anchors.

It was when everything good around me was disappearing
that I realised that my hands are tied, my mind – a stiff block and I can’t shake free
My feet felt heavy, my chest felt heavy, my world felt heavy.

It was slow and insidious that I failed to recognise - my home, now a vice
my ashes fading to grey
My happy place seems quite far away.

So now I run through the forest to leave the shadows behind
To have them miss catching my feet and not have them entwined
Just about the time when I think I can see my paradise
Is when my feet get dragged back
And I begin my run again but this time from the finish line. 

What Else Is There To Say

Stretched another boundary, stretched myself a million ways
let the wrong people in again
Fuck! Man, what else is there to say?

I forgave even when my anger was justified
I forgave because I couldn’t keep my sensitivity at bay
It’s the experiences that stay
Fuck! Man, what else is there to say?

Don’t know how careful I want myself to be anymore
How long, till another one comes along and turns my heart grey?
Naivety got the best of me, because I let you in anyway
Fuck! Man, what else is there to say?

I don’t think you see your mistakes and I can’t make you realise them anymore
we’re all adults here, aren’t we
so for both of our faults, why am I left to pay?

Twisted this circumstance way out of hand
Damage control wasn’t an option with which I could play
Had to do away with your aura altogether 
Because fuck man, what else do you want me to say?

You’re All I’ve Ever Known

It was that rainy day that brought me to my senses
washed my eyes to help me see clearly,
of all the ways how the roots of my tree were pulling me down
But I don’t know how to let go, because it’s something I’ve never known.

I tried to cleanse myself of all the weeds growing and encroaching upon my flowers
I tried to break free and blossom,
But I’ve never learnt how to let go of parts that belong to me.

The gloomy day was upon me
And you felt like the sun that I needed,
But you got so hot that I burnt myself
And all my flowers with me
But I don’t know how to let go, because it’s something I’ve never known.

Still, there I was, thinking of how I might’ve held on too tight
As you always see mistakes in yourself than point a finger towards others
Because I’d rather bring myself down
than spoil my view of the rose colored glasses I see you through
So I held on to you too, because it felt like a part of me
You felt like home and I don’t know how to let go.

I botched my beauty up in red for clinging onto you
For it was the only light I found in the sombre life of mine
You’re all I’ve ever known
But here I am begging for you to leave me be
You see, I’m struggling to let go
Because you’re everything that’s under my skin and in my bones.